Alone..........

At times i feel alone..i dont know why but i do..

and at times like this the only one i need is Him..All the time i guess i need Him..But at time like this i need Him more..

How i wish i know whether He loves me or not..whether ill be His selected one or not..

But ya, im not sure..

Everybody is not..But why sometimes i feel like its the end of the world..i feel so lonesome that i could cry..what actually is my goal?

Falah..here and hereafter right..But i know i dont deserve any of that..Far beyond my reach..sometimes i feel like my life is wasted..for what i dont know..i wish i had it from the start.

.I just want to be loved by Him..and of course, i have to make a lot of effort to get to that point..

Maybe what i need to do is to wake up from all this worldly dreams..step into the reality of life..i just need to be me..

with a lot of love for HIm..

maybe i will..

Happiness??

well,

heloo..

Its about our graduation.. hehe..

since i havent say anything about it, i can make it in a short sentence:

I LOVE GRADUATION DAY!!

hahaha.. i had fun, its almost criminal!! =p

erm, well... yang xbestnya is that i was not able to meet all my friends..

graduation gifts for kak baini, kak husna, raisa, ainaa, & mira are still with me... da sebulan simpan.. ;p

i was really glad that we were able to gather some of us for the studio thingy..

at least we had great pics to show to our children and grandchildren.. ;p

and thanx for the makan2 the other day and karaoke at ampang park..

we had a blast..

tapi xleh nak upload gambar kat ampang park lagi since i havent transfer it into my laptop.. still in my camera.. so lazy to do that..

hurm...

now and then meeting up with all my friends make me wonder..

whether we are in the right path or not...

there's a lot of challenges throughout our journey..

ive heard a lot..

and i think we have to think carefully and decide for our own good..

the main focus is our own happiness and of course the people that we love..

ive had a small talk with my friend..

about happiness..

and how we are actually sacrificing our own happiness for others..

well, it is sad but true..

sometimes, there are people who always want the best for their loved one regardless of their own happiness..

but believe it or not,

at one point, that everybody would definitely stop and ponder..

about whether they are happy or not..

whether we have got what we dream of or not..

as for me,

it is okay to think of your own happiness..

it is okay to tell yourself that you deserve something...

coz im tired already..

before this, thats the only thing i can think of.. whether if my action will hurt someone or not..

and i should do this instead of that just to satisfy others..

but after that, i know that i am not an angel..

and i cant satisfy every single person breathing in this life..

so i choose me..

i choose myself to be the priority..

ya, it sounds selfish.. but uhh.. i dont care anymore..

couldnt care less.. its tiring already..
coz at the end of the day,it is always me who'll get hurt..in pain and suffocate for some air..

thus dear friends,

who know why i am talking bout this craps..

just live your life... enjoy it while you can..

dont sacrifice your own happiness for others too much..

its time for you to be happy with yourself and your surroundings..

but whatever it is..

we are still here.. supporitng you and loving you..

(^_^)

gambate!!!

babies!!!!!!!

Welcome babies!!!hehe, my cousin just gave birth last two days..so happy!!the proposed name was orchid dianza or something..haha, im not sure either..she's the first 'cicit' for my grandma..so everyone were and still are so happy..she is verryyyy pretty and sooooooo adorable,that i feel like squeezing her tigh n kiss her all day long..but my good side reminds me "huda, anak orang tu"hahaha.. well, congratulations to abg adam & kak laila..semoga diberkati Allah swt, & dikurniakan lagi ramai askar..Im so glad, my cousin ruz(mak ngah), dalilah(mak lang/teh), yasmin(maksu) who are all the makciks are so happy as well.. hahahahahahaits so funny when they are new life being born..i feel sooo happy and it just made my day!i think, everyday to start my day,i have to read news on new born babies!!seriously it gives you more energy and you feel so great about it..if i have time, ill upload orkid's pics..coz yesterday when i visited her,i was able to bluetoothe pics form my cuz only..so i havent had time to transfer it to my laptop/pendirve.well, welcome, welcome and welcome to all new born baby across the world whereever your cute self are!!!mmuuuahhh!!!!!!!xoxoxoxoxoxoxseriously wanna give lotsa hugs n kisses!!!(^_^)

Graduation fever!!!!

hahaha.. at last, after al these years, we are done!!!!!!

Beautiful

people always judge other people based on their looks..

i wish that everybody un this world looks the same..

physical appearance are being focused instad of attitude and behaviour..

Well, i cant say much because me myself cant judge whether im being biased or not in term of this..

Because a lot of people told me that all my friends are pretty, ive been friends with good looking people..(haha, credit goes to all my friends ya!) =p

but as for me, everybody is beautiful..

God's creatures are all pretty, gorgeous, good looking etc.

I will never choose to be friend with certain of people..

Whether we are comfortable with each other or not...

Thats life..

But you know, talking bout looks..

i wonder why if you have chatting friends,

they will want to see your picture first,

especially the boy-gurl typy of friendship la..

if you are not pretty, then that person wont be friend is it?

i hate it when people are always judging others based on their looks..

and they will always say, "yela, kalau nak kahwin, kena la cari yang cantik / handsome, nanti da xboleh cari lain, sebab nak kahwin kan skali'

or "yela, if xcari yang cantik / handsome, nanti terasa nak carik lain bila da kawin"

aaaaaa... i cant accept this excuses..

well, in each person's eyes, the mening of beauty is different...

maybe in your eyes he/she is not pretty, but in my eyes they are..

but i cant accept it when guys wanted girls who are 'hot' & 'gorgeous'..

have to meet certain criterias and bla bla bla...

Hurm, but not all la kan..

Well, typical guys are..

Sometimes i feel so pity for woman (including myself) =p, since we have to be beautiful always.. have to freshen our look etc.. but do guys always do the same?

when im looking at the reality now, if the wife is pretty and drop dead gorgeous, doesnt mean that the hubby is not messy..

haha.. cant kutuk so much... im afraid if i hurt anybody.. =p

well, its just what i feel these few days..

you know, because of the environment and everything..

well, after all,

for me, still, everyone is beautiful..

you're beatiful, its true!!

Poor Me

Hey low my B!!
haha... its been a while since im here..
dont know la, maybe my life has changed 360degree thats y..
im currently working and life is not the same anymore..
well, have to wake up every morning, have your breakfast, face the traffic...
kind of the same routine and yeah, ull get bored everyday.. =p
but i really love my work tho its a bit tiring and challenging..
d most important is to have fun!! (^_^)

But there is one part that makes me feel a bit sad..
about next year budget, how ironic it is that we have struggled for these 4 years of studying,
yet we are being considered as 'poor' in the budget...
haish, what can i do, now im poor, so i can beg for money.. ;p
cost of living is definitely increasing day by day..
then all the developers are enthusiast for this high cost house..
living in klang valley sure is challenging..
theres no more house below than 350k in ampang area..
then the petrol, or even lrt fare, taxi fare...
everything is increasing..
but since its my 1st year of working, definitely my salary will be stagnant..
thats why the gap is getting bigger..
rich become richer & thee poor will definitely getting poorer...
do you know why the rich will be richer?
because they use a lot of credit cards in their daily expenses..
the more the usage, the more rewars points they will earn..
then they can redeem a lot of good stuffs from the points,
which logically speaking, they can afford it themselves...
but this poor people, who doesnt even have the capability to own a credit card,
have to buy all of these 'freebies' themselves...
hurm...
then, about the house.. if you can see right now,
the reality scenario is that the middle income people (like me, but in the budget they call us miskin la), have to rent a house instead of buying it..
since its hard to buy a house, the monthly payment will be around 800 or more...
so they choose to rent.. but in the end, after many years of paying, we will never have the house as our own property..
that is why, the middle income prefer to buy houses outside klang valley such as seremban, nilai, rawang etc which we can buy it at lower costs.
Nevertheless, they have to pay for more petrol & toll.. which is a lot!!
hurm, so the middle income will spent more either to live in klang valley or to stay a bit far..
but the rich will become richer..
because eventho they are working inside kl,
they live nearby, if its not for condominium in klang valley area,
it will be bungalows, semi-d around klangvalley area..
price hikes like every year and its gone crazier right now..
they are so expensive and unaffordable for the middle income..
so where is our stand and place?

Its just that i am really sad..
because i have struggled a lot during my study time,
yet when i was out of my uni,
and step into the real world..
i began to see the REAL world la..
its harsh an dunforgiving..
im really tired of looking forward..
i dont know whether its unfair or not..
but i feel a little lost in my own world..

za's engagement

well, it seems that we are all getting older.. ;p
as for zarina, i wish u all the best in ur relationship..
happy engagement..
may ull be happy with audi...
and make sure that the wedding is soon.. ;)
hehe..
im glad that u r happy...
all of us are..
hurm,
well..in this age of 23..
going to be..
im not sure myself if i am in that age..
u know, i still feel like shouting, playing, having fun...
well, i dun know when i wanted to stop and move on..
life is complicated though..
one second u r happy n stable..
one second ull feel alone and sad...
i kinda dun know what it is all about..
turning wiser is something u should expect when ur age is increasing..
haha, but honestly i dun know..
im still the same huda as i used to be..
i have to tolerate more and love more..
but i couldnt do it..
sometimes i feel like life is unfair...
when people hurt me, i should hurt them back..
that is so childish, i know!
but, i still wanted to do that...
its quite complicated my head is...
maybe im just tired of getting hurt by other people..
i used to give in..
i always tell myself to let it go, i have nothing to lose..
but ya, actually i have a lot of things to lose..
why do these people hurting me?
i dont know..
maybe its my fault...
hurm.. thinking bout past..
how past can make u a better person?
i have lots of past..
past that made me who i am today..
few years back,
ive hurt someone..
ive hurt him so bad...
i think up until now, he doesnt know why i hurt him..
and i think it is better that way..
im giving in..
i just wanted the people i love to be happy...
u know, choose the lesser evil...
but up until now,
he still act like he doesnt know me...
i am so cruel..
coz i know his past.. i know that he should not get hurt anymore by any mean..
but i did that to him..
well, i regretted it..
but people say that what past is past..
i still cant accept what i did up until now...
i dont know whether i like this person or not back then..
but i cant jeopardize my relationship with people i love...
so i chose to hurt him...
he used to gave me good advices... he used to care..
but he never show me love..
neither any of passion in having me as more than friends..
so i dont know..
and maybe i choose not to know of his feelings..
coz he'll never show it to me...
well,
i hope what i did was the the best..
im just hoping that someday he'll forgive me...
its the least that i can get..
and from the bottom of my heart....
im so sorry...

well, its 2010 already..
i guess ill turn 23 in these few months..
i dont know what makem me feel that im so old already..
talking bout getting older, its just sad how people can aged so much but still be uncivilized..
haha...
i was on the lrt the other day and it was not that crowded..
i was able to get a seat... but as u know, we moved from one station to another,
the lrt was getting crowded..
there were a lot of young boys who were sitting,
listening to the mp3, some of them were on the phone..
and yada.. yada.. yada...
u know having fun while relaxing on their seat..
unfortunately for them, when the lrt arrived at one station,
there were few senior citizens got in the lrt..
surprisingly, no one were offering them the seats, which later i chose to do..
but looking at the guys who were enjoying their time just now,
some of them were suddenly sleeping.. (pretend to, most likely i said)
i was so stunned and all of sudden i thought of something..
the reduction of gentleman is getting worse!!!
ohh, how i wish im not there...
well, some of the guys are cute..
but then.. haha.. not interested...
is it hard for young people to stand at most 45minutes?
it will not be any longer than that considering the longest duration of time from terminal putra to kelana jaya is around that duration...
well,
i hope that not all of gentleman extinct..
haha, im posting this not to criticize all men..
coz i know some of you guys are better than gentleman..
but i dont know..
its not easy to fing that kind of guy right??
well, i would like to go again sometime...
to see whether there are still gentleman exist... ;)