Monday, February 14, 2011

sometimes there are laughter everywhere..
but a lot of time will be tears..
we can fake laughter..
we can also fake the tears..
after all we are the actors and actresses in this world..
we have been given a role to play..
whether we do it wisely or do it with style..
our pick..

but as for me,
did i get my pick?
or did i not..
i dont know..
im just being me..
whatever is written..
just go with the flow..
i dont even know whats wrong or whats right for me..
its like blurry and cant choose..

im sure ill find my way someday..
been asking from Him everyday..
i think i have become a very monotone person right now
have no rhythm and whatsoever..
i have to get back on track..
just the matter of time..


im trying to get some sleep...
but there are a lot of things on my mind..
im trying to chill and let things clear..
but everything is a mess..
im lost in a way..
need direction..
but im not sure where to go..
i wanted to ask
but there are no one around..
what should i do?

Dear God,
im thankful that u gave me a lot of things..
and im thankful that u r still giving..
never stop..
sometimes maybe i asked too much
sometimes i might feel that evryhng is not enuf..
but then again,
i always ask myself..
have i done enough?
have i gave enough?
always asking for things, never accepts..
im sorry for this..

Please clear my mind n heart..
i need rest for a while..
what did i do wrong?
is this my fate?
coz if it is,
i have to embrace it..
be sincere n accept things the way it should be..

Monday, November 8, 2010


At times i feel alone..i dont know why but i do..
and at times like this the only one i need is Him..All the time i guess i need Him..But at time like this i need Him more..
How i wish i know whether He loves me or not..whether ill be His selected one or not..
But ya, im not sure..
Everybody is not..But why sometimes i feel like its the end of the world..i feel so lonesome that i could cry..what actually is my goal? and hereafter right..But i know i dont deserve any of that..Far beyond my reach..sometimes i feel like my life is wasted..for what i dont know..i wish i had it from the start.
.I just want to be loved by Him..and of course, i have to make a lot of effort to get to that point..
Maybe what i need to do is to wake up from all this worldly dreams..step into the reality of life..i just need to be me..
with a lot of love for HIm..
maybe i will..

Saturday, November 6, 2010



Its about our graduation.. hehe..

since i havent say anything about it, i can make it in a short sentence:


hahaha.. i had fun, its almost criminal!! =p
erm, well... yang xbestnya is that i was not able to meet all my friends..
graduation gifts for kak baini, kak husna, raisa, ainaa, & mira are still with me... da sebulan simpan.. ;p

i was really glad that we were able to gather some of us for the studio thingy..

at least we had great pics to show to our children and grandchildren.. ;p

and thanx for the makan2 the other day and karaoke at ampang park..
we had a blast..
tapi xleh nak upload gambar kat ampang park lagi since i havent transfer it into my laptop.. still in my camera.. so lazy to do that..

now and then meeting up with all my friends make me wonder..
whether we are in the right path or not...
there's a lot of challenges throughout our journey..
ive heard a lot..
and i think we have to think carefully and decide for our own good..
the main focus is our own happiness and of course the people that we love..
ive had a small talk with my friend..
about happiness..
and how we are actually sacrificing our own happiness for others..
well, it is sad but true..
sometimes, there are people who always want the best for their loved one regardless of their own happiness..
but believe it or not,
at one point, that everybody would definitely stop and ponder..
about whether they are happy or not..
whether we have got what we dream of or not..
as for me,
it is okay to think of your own happiness..
it is okay to tell yourself that you deserve something...
coz im tired already..
before this, thats the only thing i can think of.. whether if my action will hurt someone or not..
and i should do this instead of that just to satisfy others..
but after that, i know that i am not an angel..
and i cant satisfy every single person breathing in this life..
so i choose me..
i choose myself to be the priority..
ya, it sounds selfish.. but uhh.. i dont care anymore..
couldnt care less.. its tiring already..
coz at the end of the day,it is always me who'll get pain and suffocate for some air..

thus dear friends,
who know why i am talking bout this craps..

just live your life... enjoy it while you can..

dont sacrifice your own happiness for others too much..

its time for you to be happy with yourself and your surroundings..

but whatever it is..

we are still here.. supporitng you and loving you..



Wednesday, October 27, 2010


Welcome babies!!!hehe, my cousin just gave birth last two happy!!the proposed name was orchid dianza or something..haha, im not sure either..she's the first 'cicit' for my everyone were and still are so happy..she is verryyyy pretty and sooooooo adorable,that i feel like squeezing her tigh n kiss her all day long..but my good side reminds me "huda, anak orang tu"hahaha.. well, congratulations to abg adam & kak laila..semoga diberkati Allah swt, & dikurniakan lagi ramai askar..Im so glad, my cousin ruz(mak ngah), dalilah(mak lang/teh), yasmin(maksu) who are all the makciks are so happy as well.. hahahahahahaits so funny when they are new life being born..i feel sooo happy and it just made my day!i think, everyday to start my day,i have to read news on new born babies!!seriously it gives you more energy and you feel so great about it..if i have time, ill upload orkid's pics..coz yesterday when i visited her,i was able to bluetoothe pics form my cuz i havent had time to transfer it to my laptop/pendirve.well, welcome, welcome and welcome to all new born baby across the world whereever your cute self are!!!mmuuuahhh!!!!!!!xoxoxoxoxoxoxseriously wanna give lotsa hugs n kisses!!!(^_^)

Graduation fever!!!!

hahaha.. at last, after al these years, we are done!!!!!!


people always judge other people based on their looks..

i wish that everybody un this world looks the same..

physical appearance are being focused instad of attitude and behaviour..

Well, i cant say much because me myself cant judge whether im being biased or not in term of this..

Because a lot of people told me that all my friends are pretty, ive been friends with good looking people..(haha, credit goes to all my friends ya!) =p

but as for me, everybody is beautiful..

God's creatures are all pretty, gorgeous, good looking etc.

I will never choose to be friend with certain of people..

Whether we are comfortable with each other or not...

Thats life..

But you know, talking bout looks..

i wonder why if you have chatting friends,

they will want to see your picture first,

especially the boy-gurl typy of friendship la..

if you are not pretty, then that person wont be friend is it?

i hate it when people are always judging others based on their looks..

and they will always say, "yela, kalau nak kahwin, kena la cari yang cantik / handsome, nanti da xboleh cari lain, sebab nak kahwin kan skali'

or "yela, if xcari yang cantik / handsome, nanti terasa nak carik lain bila da kawin"

aaaaaa... i cant accept this excuses..

well, in each person's eyes, the mening of beauty is different...

maybe in your eyes he/she is not pretty, but in my eyes they are..

but i cant accept it when guys wanted girls who are 'hot' & 'gorgeous'..

have to meet certain criterias and bla bla bla...

Hurm, but not all la kan..

Well, typical guys are..

Sometimes i feel so pity for woman (including myself) =p, since we have to be beautiful always.. have to freshen our look etc.. but do guys always do the same?

when im looking at the reality now, if the wife is pretty and drop dead gorgeous, doesnt mean that the hubby is not messy..

haha.. cant kutuk so much... im afraid if i hurt anybody.. =p

well, its just what i feel these few days..

you know, because of the environment and everything..

well, after all,

for me, still, everyone is beautiful..

you're beatiful, its true!!