life is hard...

hey..
ive been busy this short sem..
duin nothing.. =p
erm, i dunno..
i have no mood for lots of things nowadays..
ive been duin lots of thinking..
n never have a decision...
u know..
life is damn hard..
u think its as easy as disneys movie..
but its definitely not..
im just a gurl who wants her fairy tale comes true..
i dun even know where am i rite now...
yea,
it is some kind of game, ur life..
hurm..
people say that a person who fails to plan, is planning to fail..
not at all true..
im planning from the very beginning of my life..
at least when i can think straight la kan..
hurm,
most of the things ive planned well..
but never any of it came true..
sometimes i hate my life..
i know it sounded like im not thankful or sumthing..
but im totally lost..
lost at a point where i need a break..
a long break from everyone i know..
i need to run..
n never look back..

maybe my mistake is, i put to much expectation..
in people, in my environment..
then when the result is different,
i lost my mind and cant accept things..

sigh...

i guess its how life supposed to be..

matriculation centre...

hey...
its been a while since ive been here..
tons and tons of works to do..
sob3... this is why i hate studying...
haahaha..
but other parts were great..

anyway,
i was accepted to cfs,iium..
centre for foundation studies of iium...
hurm, it was back in 2005 if im not mistaken...
july maybe...
it was one hectic week...
well, its normal to have orientation and all the talks that we have to attend..
its killing us...
haha.. but we went thru it well.. (",)

eventho it was only a short period..
but it really gives me a big impact..
changed me a lot..
its the place where i found my true love..
at least that was what i thought..
but yeah,
i was wrong...

back then i was telling myself not to fall in love..
never during study time..
wait til the graduation day arrives...
but the curiosity..
the feeling of being needed and to need someone is damn strong...
and i did fall in love..

he's a nice guy...
this one i can say..
but maybe its not fated that we should be together..
it really hurts..
not just a small cut..
but big enough to actually tear my world apart...

it was nearly 3 years...
being in love...
and it ended when i was already in main campus...
hurm... 3 years are long..
long enough to give a terrible ache to your heart...
i was startled, lose my vision and trembling each day..
cant even stand on my own feet...
its how i remember..
the pain that is left over..
its not as severe as before...
but im sure it is still here..
deep down inside..

what happens when we are too emotional.......

when my friends told me that im too emotional...

whats up with them?

i kinda pissed off...

haha...without actually analyzing myself...

but when i think back, sit and relax..

then only i know that its true...

why do peple dun know how to control their own feelings?

hurm, its not that easy...

but the thing is we have to learn...

ull know who u really are when u have lot of friends...

they see you from outside view..

we can only see ourselves...

hurm,as faras it goes..

in front of the mirror.. =p

hahahha....

not really.. i mean,

we dun know what people think of us...

its not fair if we said they are wrong....

hurm,

do u know how matured u r?

i dun really know as well..

but all of my friends told me that im too matured..

as compared to my age..

but the thing is,

i kinda disagree...

but somehow...

they see that in me...

then what i did, just accept it.. =)

it does not mean its bad rite??

well,

emotionalis good sometimes...

coz it shows that we are sensitive...

but not too much la guys...

haha...

im learning as well...

hopefully ill be less emotional later on....

well,

it causes a lot of thing pun...

if we are too emotional people will get bored...

haha...

and it shows that we are not gud in controlling our own emotion...

thus, not a good leader...

hurm,

well..

i really hope that ill be better in controlling my own feelings...

hehe..

live life cool la beb!!! =p

weeeeeeeeeeeee............................

educated people..... they are cool... how eh??

people always ask us to learn from the brilliant one...

educated people...
why is that so?
they think outside of the box...
i mean not to say that im that stupid....
but when i talked to this kind of people,
i think i feel sooooo small..
haha..
last sem, i went to meet this one doctor...
not d one who gives you medicine, that one i will think about million times before i go...
hate docs... they gave me headaches... hahaha..
and i hate the smell inside the hosp and clinics...
urrghh, medicine, sickness...
just hate it... thats why i dun want to get sick..
please let me be healthy... =p

ok, lets go back to the topics..
hehe..
diz dr..
he asked me what im gonna do after my graduation..
i told him that im interested in Ar-rajhi, kuwait finance house, bnm etc...
and he asked some of my frens..
but not many of them have their visions...
they just told him that they wanna work..
where? they themselves were not sure..
then he said that its gud that i already haf vision...
i was happy (not praising myself)..
but it was just for a while...
coz he asked me the next question...
how? what have you done so far?
i cant really answered..
coz i did nothing..
i juz know where to work..
but ya, until that point only...

so he told me..
an educated person, will not wait..
he or she will search about the company..read their company profiles..
what they involved in these years until the day of the interview...
not wait up till the eleventh hour..
and read from the internet back to back..
hahaha...

he said even u read 5 mins per week is gud enuf...
thats when i learn how to be a bit smart...
hahaa.. feel kinda dumb.. ;)
but hey,
at least i learn something...
im getting smarter!!!!! (^_^)
hahaha.. poyo jek..

skip to this part!!

hey u guys....
hehe...
i supposed to tell u guys about my campus life in matriculation center first...
haha...
but the thing is...
i kinda haf a lot of things about me right now...
the best part is i tripped down last saturday...
hahha i was going to my tennis skill and voila i just tripped!!
hehehe...
ouch, it did hurt!!

tilll now, i still cant walk properly... i mean normally la kan...

thanks to all my fwens who really2 took care of me...

my rumies and my dearest bucuk...

haha...

lucky me to haf all of these people surrounding me...

i love them so very much...

thanx a bunch!!!!!!

high school.... (^_^)

im sure all of us will go through this life...
how was it?
high school i mean...
well, im sure everybody have different experience...
as for me,
i loved it!!!
i was in SMK Bukit Indah for 5 years...
just nearby my house...
in ampang...
it was a new school back then...
we were the second batch...
it was so much fun u know...
coz we kinda knew each other...
of course we do!
it was like form 1 and form 2..
and less than 10 people of form 5...
hahhaha...
but now i guess the school is so pack...
i was prefect since i was in form 1...
well, i know there are a lot of people out there who hates prefect...
ouch!!
haha, but i know how u guys feel...
coz when i was in primary school at st mary,
i kinda hate the prefect as well...
hahhaha...
but ended up being one...
do i hate myself???
errrr....
high school is the time u get to know people...
i have a lot of friends...
good friends, best friends, not so good friends...
hahahaha...
well, my friends were alwez there for me...
they accepted me for who i am...
they are great friends...
asilah, faziela, izzati, dayah, naz, dayana, fairoz,
and a looooot more!!
they are just great...
i am me right now, part of it is becoz of them...
u know why??
coz no man is an island,
is an idiom by the way...
every man in every nook and cranny of the world need friends...
they are the one who shaped us...
well, if u guys notice...
most of our time is at school...
7am till 2 pm...
school time...
then sometimes will be at school at 4pm onwards for sport aite?
or extra classes...
so we will be seeing these faces a lot!!
=p
so, basically, i like what they like..
i enjoy doing things that they enjoyed as well...
listen to the same genre of music...
still remember when we were so into bsb and westlife...
hahahahaha.. band boys!!!
i still love their songs right now, but not all...
u know when u tend to say that "hey, nick carter is mine!"
it is sooo lame now...
hahahaha...
but whatever it is,
it is our experiences that taught us a lot...
remember, "experience is the best teacher"
i guess its true... =)

well, i was so serious back then...
i love to laugh a lot!!
believe me, if u knew me,
i dun think u can stand me laughing....
i dunno why,
but i think one of the screw inside my body is loose...
so i cant stop laughing... =p
oh, but i was a strict prefect...
very...
i am very sorry to all my fellow prefect and friends back then...
hahaha... i am so very sorry...
u dunno how sorry i am...
if ever i hurt u guys in any way, please forgive me... =)
well, being an assistant for my very wise head prefect was not easy....
it was a great responsibility...
oh, chan kin wong...
my head prefect..
he's a nice guy... love working with him...
not to mention very smart and brilliant...
and i still remember all of the teachers and students kinda think that something is going on between us... =p
hahahaha, CK im sorry if u read this... ;p
but seriously, there was nothing...
absolutely...
he is a great friend, can be my tutor sometimes...
but we were always together becoz we kinda have to check on the prefects..
but i guess,
it ends since we didnt make a big fuss out of it...
buat bodo je..
lama2 okla kan...
hahaha....

it was so nice being in high school...
wish i cud enter high school once again...
but hey,
we'll get older...
ill be 22 this september...
there's no way in turning back...
(^_^)
i can say that high school is the spice of my life....
weeeeeee....

there's always a first time!!

hey....
woo... never knew ill create my own blog...
i dunno why....
guess i just feel like writing somewhere..
not that i dun have my own journal or something.. but i guess its kinda fun to share...
well.. sharing is caring (^_^)
hurm.. who am i?
people always call me huda...
im just a simple girl who wanna live a spartan life...
i dun want to complicate things but sometimes i did dat...
like a lot...
haha... i love people...
making friends...
talk, chat...
i just love being around people coz it is scary to be alone...
i felt that...
it was tough...
do u know that people said that sometimes it is good to be alone...
i was alone at some point...
it was hard...
and so painful....
i dun even know what to do...
so, that is the reason why i love to be around people...
(^_^)
well, i have a lot of things to tell u...
but ill do that later...
weeeee..... (^_____^)