za's engagement

well, it seems that we are all getting older.. ;p
as for zarina, i wish u all the best in ur relationship..
happy engagement..
may ull be happy with audi...
and make sure that the wedding is soon.. ;)
hehe..
im glad that u r happy...
all of us are..
hurm,
well..in this age of 23..
going to be..
im not sure myself if i am in that age..
u know, i still feel like shouting, playing, having fun...
well, i dun know when i wanted to stop and move on..
life is complicated though..
one second u r happy n stable..
one second ull feel alone and sad...
i kinda dun know what it is all about..
turning wiser is something u should expect when ur age is increasing..
haha, but honestly i dun know..
im still the same huda as i used to be..
i have to tolerate more and love more..
but i couldnt do it..
sometimes i feel like life is unfair...
when people hurt me, i should hurt them back..
that is so childish, i know!
but, i still wanted to do that...
its quite complicated my head is...
maybe im just tired of getting hurt by other people..
i used to give in..
i always tell myself to let it go, i have nothing to lose..
but ya, actually i have a lot of things to lose..
why do these people hurting me?
i dont know..
maybe its my fault...
hurm.. thinking bout past..
how past can make u a better person?
i have lots of past..
past that made me who i am today..
few years back,
ive hurt someone..
ive hurt him so bad...
i think up until now, he doesnt know why i hurt him..
and i think it is better that way..
im giving in..
i just wanted the people i love to be happy...
u know, choose the lesser evil...
but up until now,
he still act like he doesnt know me...
i am so cruel..
coz i know his past.. i know that he should not get hurt anymore by any mean..
but i did that to him..
well, i regretted it..
but people say that what past is past..
i still cant accept what i did up until now...
i dont know whether i like this person or not back then..
but i cant jeopardize my relationship with people i love...
so i chose to hurt him...
he used to gave me good advices... he used to care..
but he never show me love..
neither any of passion in having me as more than friends..
so i dont know..
and maybe i choose not to know of his feelings..
coz he'll never show it to me...
well,
i hope what i did was the the best..
im just hoping that someday he'll forgive me...
its the least that i can get..
and from the bottom of my heart....
im so sorry...

well, its 2010 already..
i guess ill turn 23 in these few months..
i dont know what makem me feel that im so old already..
talking bout getting older, its just sad how people can aged so much but still be uncivilized..
haha...
i was on the lrt the other day and it was not that crowded..
i was able to get a seat... but as u know, we moved from one station to another,
the lrt was getting crowded..
there were a lot of young boys who were sitting,
listening to the mp3, some of them were on the phone..
and yada.. yada.. yada...
u know having fun while relaxing on their seat..
unfortunately for them, when the lrt arrived at one station,
there were few senior citizens got in the lrt..
surprisingly, no one were offering them the seats, which later i chose to do..
but looking at the guys who were enjoying their time just now,
some of them were suddenly sleeping.. (pretend to, most likely i said)
i was so stunned and all of sudden i thought of something..
the reduction of gentleman is getting worse!!!
ohh, how i wish im not there...
well, some of the guys are cute..
but then.. haha.. not interested...
is it hard for young people to stand at most 45minutes?
it will not be any longer than that considering the longest duration of time from terminal putra to kelana jaya is around that duration...
well,
i hope that not all of gentleman extinct..
haha, im posting this not to criticize all men..
coz i know some of you guys are better than gentleman..
but i dont know..
its not easy to fing that kind of guy right??
well, i would like to go again sometime...
to see whether there are still gentleman exist... ;)